even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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