I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
