just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
