He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Four minutes until I can fart!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
