Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
