I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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