Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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