Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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