how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm both gender and math confused
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
