haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
