so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
