a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
