Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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