A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
