I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i think i just lost a toe
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
