She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
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I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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