Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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