So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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