Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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