adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The adults are the big ones right?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
