I bet he comes in French.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize