Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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