he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
