Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize