Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize