Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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