Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
