My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
