thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
