she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
