She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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