Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
