dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
