Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
