i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
