it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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