I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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