I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
