Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
