addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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