I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
