There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
