I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize