Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
