chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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