TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
