The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
