i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm passing your future prison.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
