I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
