i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
ttyl tear gas
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize