Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
