So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
