So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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