turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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