did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
